That Hat Again
by The Stare-Master
Summary: Yoruichi comes for a visit and decides that it's about time to steal that tantilizing green-and-white striped fedora of his. Just a drabble.


_Hello, lovelies! I decided to write a little drabble about Urahara Kisuke's hat. Enjoy! Disclaimer: Must I? I think everyone already knows that I'm not actually Tite Kubo in disguise. If only…_

"Where's my hat?" I heard Kisuke yelling frantically from the back of his shop. I grinned and twirled the green-and-white striped fedora around my right index finger, watching as the motion compressed the hat, making it wrinkled and distorted. I heard a crash, bang, and some skittering sounds as Kisuke searched through the store merchandise, most likely throwing over shelves in the process. I sighed at his ignorance and walked through the front door, hat on my head.

"Honestly, Kisuke. What is this, the fourteenth time I've done this? You should've learned now that whenever your hat goes missing when Jinta, Ururu, and Tessai aren't around, _I_ am the one who has stolen it." Kisuke looked up in surprise, his eyes going wide before narrowing. He brushed hair across his forehead, clearly not accustomed to having his head completely exposed. It was funny to see because there was nothing wrong with his head—it was a perfectly nice head, and he had perfectly good hair. He was just incredibly self-conscious, which made me laugh.

"Yoruichi! You never said that you would be visiting!"

"And have I ever done that in the past eighty years? I believe that the answer would be no." Kisuke scratched his head and eyed his hat. I smirked at the look I'd seen so many times on the face that I'd learn to love and laugh at.

"Cut the crap, Yoruichi. I want the hat back." Nothing was happening at Soul Society as of then, and so I needed some distraction. I shook my head, flipping the hat in the air and catching it with two fingers. I smirked and twirled the hat, waiting for Kisuke to start charging me, thinking that he couldn't live without his hat.

"Give. It. Back." He stated calmly, the grip he had on his "walking stick" so tight that his knuckles turned an unnatural shade of white.

"Honestly, Kisuke. You really believe that I would do that? No. I'm bored. Let's have some fun."

"You've got yourself a deal." With that, Kisuke flash stepped behind me, grabbing for his hat. Unfortunately for him I was one step ahead, and had already flash stepped outside, standing in the center of the vacant parking lot, grinning my head off and doing tricks with the hat. Kisuke took off his robe, making himself more mobile. Now I knew that he meant _business._ I threw the hat casually into the air so that it reached its peak as it was halfway between us. We glared at each other before flash stepping once more, seeing who was better at Shunpo.

Turns out Kisuke was. But I had a few tricks up my sleeve. Just as Kisuke latched his fingers onto the hat a blue bolt of electricity shot down his arms, making him shout in surprise and drop the hat. I chuckled and gracefully retrieved the hat at my own leisured pace, watching Kisuke shake out his arm, clutching it and wailing in an extremely exaggerated manner. I laughed and turned my back, waiting for him to flash step in front of me.

But he didn't. I didn't hear anything for the next few seconds, so I turned around to see why Kisuke was being so quiet. That was where I made my mistake. As I turned around my face came within one millimeter of Kisuke's. I was so surprised at this that I didn't even react when he smirked at me and slid his hand into mine, taking the hat.

"You know, Yoruichi, you're not unbeatable." Kisuke said, running his tongue over his top teeth, sending a shiver down my spine. With that he was gone, flash stepping inside. I was left standing in the middle of the vacant parking lot, hands twitching and eyes narrowed. Anger bubbled inside of me, threatening to spill out. Oh, he did _not_ just do that.

"_KISUKE!"_ I yelled, out for revenge. Now it wasn't about the hat. He had royally dissed me by using a classic and cheap move that he knew would work on me. He was really going to get it now. I launched myself through a window, not caring that it shattered and embedded its little daggers into my skin. After all, I was essentially immune to pain after being a captain of Soul Society. I grinned as I landed on the top of a Soul Candy shelf, looking down at Kisuke's look of shock and slight bemusement.

"You seriously just did that?" He asked incredulously, looking behind me to the broken window. I nodded and pointed to his hat, which was now on his head.

"I am going to burn that hat for what you did, Kisuke. Run for your bloody life or die." I stood on the shelf for a few more seconds, waiting for his response. None came for a while, Kisuke remaining expressionless and motionless. After about five straight minutes of staring each other down, we both simultaneously broke into laughter, him doubling over and me toppling off of the shelf. Although we really did piss each other off on a regular basis, we were the best of friends and didn't usually hold grudges against each other.

After catching my breath, I looked at Kisuke, who was turning blue. He managed to breathe before he passed out, though, which was good because I'd seen him laugh himself silly, and it wasn't a pleasant sight…especially when he keeled over and you had to wake him up.

I chuckled for a bit longer, another plan forming in my mind to take his hat. It was never over until he surrendered—and seeing that he had never surrendered, it would never be over. I had to hold on to that hat for a substantial amount of time. Then and only then would I stop conspiring to take his precious hat from him.

"All right, Kisuke…I give up." I said, watching as he relaxed. Oh, how sorely mistaken he was. I hopped down from the dented shelf and smiled in a friendly manner. "Ah, this game will never stop, will it, Kisuke?" I asked, rubbing my head absentmindedly and grinning toothily. He narrowed his eyes and smiled maliciously.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." He said, watching me closely. I looked relaxed, but my muscles were tensed, ready to jump.

"Too bad you don't." I said before vanishing from his sight, grabbing the hat off of his head and sailing over his figure, landing by the front door and running through it rather than out of it. I heard Kisuke sigh behind me, a shadow covering his eyes.

"I guess that this will never end…"

_I'm not gonna pressure you to review since it's just a drabble, one-shot, whatever. But feel free to! ^^ I love your faces! _

_~Artemis~_


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